Every day we see more and more violence in our headlines. It wasn’t too long ago where a man would be out cast by society if it were found that we was beating his wife or not protecting her in some way. Now, its a way of life to treat wives with disdain. At least there are still some laws out there to protect us – however Craigslist and society are ignoring the brutality they are advancing:
A man used the online advertising service Craigslist to enlist another man to rape his wife in the couple’s home, police said Wednesday.
His wife called police early Sunday morning and said a man with a knife raped her in the bedroom of their home in Kannapolis, about 25 miles northeast of Charlotte, authorities said. Her husband was in the room, police said. Their two young children were also home, but were unaware of what was happening, authorities said.
The husband sought someone in the ads to come to his home and have sex with his wife using “scare tactics,” police said. It was without her knowledge or consent, police said.
The online classified site had been criticized for its “erotic services” section, which Craigslist agreed to do away with last month after a Boston medical student, deemed “the Craigslist killer,” was charged with killing a woman he met on the site.
A Kansas City, Missouri, man was sentenced last month to 29 years in prison for raping a woman who advertised in the section.
I wonder if society will ever wake up and realize this promotion of self gratification as the only way of life is bringing on all this violence. How can we expect people to restrain themselves when we tell them they don’t have to? We are turning into beasts and no one is listening to our trainer.
“It wasn’t too long ago where a man would be out cast by society if it were found that we was beating his wife or not protecting her in some way.”
Any stats on that?
Nope….how could there be? It was how life was back then………It was accepted. I’m sure all the “older” people on here can tell you about it.
One thing that I should have clarified – just because he was outcast, didn’t mean he stopped. And just because people tried to intervene didn’t mean the intervention worked………However that man was rarely invited to go out with the guys or play poker with the guys….etc.
“Nope….how could there be? It was how life was back then………It was accepted. I’m sure all the “older” people on here can tell you about it.”
I’ve had older people tell me plenty about this. It’s not like I live in some insulated 1980′s-or-later bubble, for pete’s sake. My mom’s dad beat the crap out of her whole family, and most of her friends’ dads did the same. It was open, it was accepted.
My father’s dad worked closely with the police in the 50′s and 60′s and they would sometimes get domestic abuse calls. Depending on who the abuser was, they often quietly rallied around him. Told him to cool off, went out for drinks like usual the next day.
Alexandra –
I’m not sure where you grew up…however, I’m going to guess it wasn’t a farming community. All I know is farming communities,and that kind of stuff never happened. I’ve live in Indiana, Minnesota, Ohio and Illinios and what I described is what it was like…..
And I know you don’t live in a bubble – just telling you what I know and what I’ve seen. I remember stories of my Grandfather taking some guy in the neighborhood out into the corn fields and beeting the snot out of him because he “wasn’t treating his wife with respect”. (We all knew what that meant.) The point was to show him what it was like to have someone stronger and meaner than you take ya out. Funny thing is my Grandpa wasn’t all that big and I never once thought of him as mean! I’m not sure what happened to that guy, but the stories say they never had to take him out there again………
As we have been talking about in another threat – there are exceptions to all rules, perhaps your family was an exception. Which I think it may have been as it sounds like there was some sort of corruption with the police. My Polish relatives are Police Officers in Columbus, OH and I guarentee you that stuff wouldn’t happen if they were on duty.
Just to clarify: “Depending on who the abuser was,” that is where I get the idea that there was corruption. It should never depend on who anyone is if a crime is committed.
“As we have been talking about in another threat – there are exceptions to all rules, perhaps your family was an exception. ”
Right, so based purely on your anecdotal evidence of “it just wasn’t accepted” versus mine, “it was accepted to some extent,” I’m the exception? Why? As I said, it wasn’t just my family. It was most families my mom knew in her suburb. It wasn’t, like, push-you-down-the-stairs-and-kick-you-in-the-face abuse, but it was stuff that would be considered abuse today and was not at that point, at least in that community.
I grew up in NY. My parents grew up in Michigan. My father’s father was not abusive to his mother, but they definitely saw abuse around them.
“Just to clarify: “Depending on who the abuser was,” that is where I get the idea that there was corruption. It should never depend on who anyone is if a crime is committed.”
No kidding. My point is that to some extent the social system was, in some ways, corrupt, because it viewed behaviors that would be considered abuse today as being excusable and because it “shunned” women who left abusive situations. At least today women can leave their abusive husbands, and fathers will be prosecuted for beating their kids. It’s not a “private family matter” anymore, fortunately.
Alexandra –
You asked me, so I’ll ask you –
Can you back up your claim that women were shunned? The women I knew back then that were in these situations were helped out of their situations and were certiantly not shunned.
Again – It is my perspective. I was born in 1970 and lived in mostly poor areas, where a good portion of abuse does happen. I was primarily in farming communities. We saw different things in our lives and saw it from a different perspective.
What might be good is to have MK, you and I write an aricle based around these difference perspectives and different ways of life.
“Can you back up your claim that women were shunned?”
I was referencing MK’s assertion in the other thread that people either followed the rules or where shunned.
At this point I can only speak anecdotally, because it’s hard to find statistics on things like how a society treats individuals and I’m not at a research library to look for any. My grandmother stayed in two abusive marriages — the second came after the first husband died from an illness (my mother’s family was very poor). Her second husband died before she did, as well (accident at work). In the years before her death, before she went kind of insane, she dated an elderly man named Ed but for a variety of reasons didn’t marry him. One time I asked her about it and she said that it would anger his kids and hers, and anyway she had lived long enough to see a world where women did not need to be married, or stay married, to be treated well. I guess she felt like she’d earned it.
(Incidentally, Ed came to her funeral and cried harder than just about anybody else, maybe because he saw death coming his way not too far in the future. He knew so much about me even though I’d almost never met him; he was so happy to finally sit down and talk to me. Unfortunately my aunts and uncles — not the nicest people in the world, on the whole — asked him to get out, because they still worried that he would stake some claim on the tiny bit of material stuff my grandmother had left behind. My parents and I kept in touch with him until he died. That’s not part of this discussion, really, but I feel that it would be doing a disservice to my grandmother and to Ed to omit the sweetness they found together at the end of their lives. My grandmother’s name was Marion, and I loved her very much.)
@Alexandra: I’m glad your grandmother had somebody like Ed.
My uncle had somebody like that too before he passed away. ’twas good. ^_^