Our posts have been a bit depressing lately. With babies not being allowed medical treatment, T-shirts asking women to expose themselves and some news reports gleefully reporting the murder (oh, wait can’t be a murder because he was anti-choice!) of a life long pro-life activists. I wanted to find something funny. So, when you want funny news all you have to do is go to the News of the Weird. I was not disappointed:
A woman offering child-care services in Melbourne, Fla., was dismayed to learn in August that a scam pulled on her by a diaper-wearing man in his 40s was not illegal. A man called her, on behalf of his disabled adult "brother," who has a mental age of 5 and poor bladder control, and she began assisting him in her home during the day for $600 a week. She was later outraged to learn that the "brother" was really the caller and was actually normal (except for his perversion). However, as Brevard County Sheriff’s officials told Florida Today, since the woman consented to changing diapers and was fully paid for her services, they were unable to charge the man with a crime. [Florida Today, 8-9-09]
Admitted gang member Alex Fowler, 26, of Jasper, Texas, was arrested in July and charged with an attempted home-invasion robbery that went bad. Tough-guy Fowler, who has the words "Crip for Life" tattooed on his neck, was chased from the house by the 87-year-old female "victim" pointing a can of Raid insect repellant at him, threatening to spray. [Beaumont Enterprise, 7-20-09]
At press time, Rhode Island legislators were scrambling to fix an oversight in state law that came to light only earlier this year. While the
state treats 16 as the age of sexual consent and the age at which most child labor laws no longer apply, the under-18 sex-worker law bans only "prostitution" and "lewd" activities, leaving girls age 16 and 17 free to work as strippers. (Nudity, by itself, is not "lewd" under constitutional law.) Other Rhode Island laws bar under-18s from, for example, serving drinks, working with power tools or buying pornography. (The city of Providence is also now trying to fix its own ordinance in which prostitution appears to be illegal only for streetwalkers, thus legalizing the trade for those working indoors.) [Providence Journal, 7-21-09] [Providence Journal, 8-20-09]
You want to see something weird?
How about a parasite that eats fish tongues.
http://io9.com/5357663/tongue%20eating-parasites-attack-fish-near-normandy
That little isopod looks nauseatingly self-satisfied. *shudder*
Val, the kids and I pick NFL teams every week and I make an excel spread sheet to calculate the wins…. Just thought I would offer it out to anybody who wants to use it. I put it on my website for the world to download for free.
http://machinadei.com/2009/09/2009-nfl-excel-spreadsheet/
More weirdness:
http://www.pajiba.com/seriously_random_lists/the-five-most-seriously-effed-up-movie-premises-of-all-time.php#comment-261403
LOL also this has to be posted:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM
Oh! Did you guys hear that Larry Gelbart, one of the writers for M*A*S*H passed away yesterday? That news depressed me a bit.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/09/11/obit.larry.gelbart/index.html
MK: here is another good Jon Stewart vid, that I forgot to post yesterday. It’s his first show after 9/11/2001:
http://www.glumbert.com/media/stewart911
The first one is actually really sick and depressing. A woman who is working and helping disabled people (which can be a really hard job!) is tricked into playing into a perverted fantasy. That should be considered rape, he tricked her into doing something sexual to him. It would be like a woman going to her doctor only to find out that the doctor had his licence revoaked for sexual assualt.
Jess –
I agree. They say what he did wasn’t illegal because he paid her and she “consented”. That’s like arresting the woman who was forced to be a prostitute and letting the “John” and “pimp” go free.
It is sick – which is why it’s weird. These things should be reported nationally so people can check out their own laws on stuff like this. The level of perverted crimes increases every year – and that doesn’t include rape and exposing yourself.
It reminds me of a case from a few years ago, in Massachusetts, where a woman’s boyfriend’s brother climbed into her bed late at night. She thought it was her boyfriend getting home from work and she spoke to him — using his name etc — and he basically gave no indication that he was not her boyfriend. She had sex with him and the court ruled that it was not rape, because rape in Massachusetts is defined as an act of force or something.
Of course, if you get into “fraudulent consent for sex is rape,” it can get really grey really fast — what about a guy who says he’s a doctor when he’s just a mechanic? etc — but that struck me as so gross.
Proof that I’m not just mistaking an urban-legend/Dear Abby hybrid for fact: http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2007/05/11/court_rules_sex_through_use_of_fraud_is_not_rape/
Oh and that reminded me of that creepy scene in Revenge of the Nerds, where he pretends to be her boyfriend because he has the mask on. I watched that movie for the first time two years ago and Mr. Alexandra was like, “Wow, this is….waaaaay creepier than I remember. wtf?” Thank goodness most people at least recoil at that ‘humor’ now, but clearly the law needs to catch up.
All I gotta say, is that picture of the whacko in the diaper really creeps ME out…
@MK: It looks like Al Franken.
Rae –
It is Al Franken. Anytime someone mentions an adult in a diaper I get that image in my head. Grosses me out – so I thought I should gross everyone out so I won’t be alone!
ick. I can’t remember when he posed for that pic….SNL maybe?????
@Val: I’m so glad I didn’t vote for him…
LOL
@Val: Indeed. And to be clear, I did not vote for Norm Coleman either.
So I was bored this weekend and I took a personality quiz on Facebook (because yes, I am freaking addicted). I know personality tests are meant to be pretty vague and are really meant to fit everybody and anybody, but I thought this one was particularly amusing.
They are ranked in that the first one is the most strong personality attribute and the last one is one of the weaker, however these are my top 10 attributes.
I like the fact that I have “abrasive” as one of my top traits. Not so sure about “assertive”. I’m generally pretty passive in real life. I’ve been called a “doormat” more than once by multiple people (my own parents included).
If you guys want to take it- it’s called, “Personality Patterns” on Facebook- it’s one of those apps. If you’re friends with me on Facebook you can find a link to it there, otherwise, you’re on your own. Bwahahahahahahahahahaha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Impassioned
You have strong opinions and high standards. When others let you down, you’re not opposed to giving them a piece of your mind, even if it sometimes mean hurting their feelings.
You are not necessarily a “live and let live” kind of person. You don’t always make allowances for others’ incompetence or allow annoyances to wash over you. You don’t feel it’s your job to make everyone feel relaxed and comfortable regardless of whether they’ve earned it.
2) Competent
You strive to master everything you undertake. You tend to learn quickly and do not shy away from challenges.
You are not a “que sera sera” type of person, nor do you go easy on yourself when attempting to master a new skill or get a job done.
3) Rational
You see the world clearly and objectively. You know there’s a logical explanation for everything, and a logical solution to every problem; which is why you’re such a good problem-solver.
You do not take your sweet time when presented with a new task to complete or problem to solve. You don’t avoid assignments that require you to learn new skills.
4) Abrasive
You are accustomed to rubbing people the wrong way; it’s simply what happens when you express your opinions. In your opinion, there’s nothing wrong with being controversial.
You don’t have a “live and let live” attitude when it comes to other people whose opinions clash with yours; you see no reason to give the benefit of the doubt to someone who is just plain wrong.
5) Conscientious
You feel it’s important to work according to a plan and finish every task, to do things correctly and thoroughly.
You are not the kind of person who abandons a project before finishing it, or slacks off when you’ve lost interest.
6) Assertive
You behave in a confident and forceful manner, take charge of the situation, raise your hand in class, stand up for what you think is right, and lead others. Among those who have a high score on the “assertive” trait, many have jobs in which they are valued for their organizational skills as well as their talent for supervising others.
You are not interested in fading into the woodwork, leaving everything to fate, taking more time than necessary to accomplish a task, or avoiding confrontation.
7) Efficient
You are very well organized, even a bit anal. You like to stick to your plans and finish on deadline, wasting as little time as possible in the process.
You are not comfortable when things do not go according to plan, nor are you a procrastinator. You don’t waste time when you can be getting down to business.
You tend to be a “glass half-empty” kind of person, which for you is simply a realistic outlook. Your feeling is that this world can be a depressing place, and only a fool would think otherwise.
You do not waste your time searching for the silver lining in every cloud, nor do you believe it’s your job to cheer up the people around you with happy talk.
9) Introspective
You like your own company; you’re a very interesting person. Tracking your own mental processes, knowing what you’re thinking and why you do what you do, is important to you. Often, what’s going on in your mind is more compelling than what’s going on outside. For the most part, those with a high score on the “introspective” trait enjoy reading, taking long walks, learning new things, and other solitary activities.
You are not someone who is constantly looking to be among a group of friends; you never feel bored when you are by yourself.
10) Down-to-Earth
You think that many of those who claim to love art are just being pretentious. As long as something does the job, whether it be a couch, a coat, or a kitchen cabinet, it’s “beautiful” as far as you’re concerned. Those who have a high score on the “down-to-earth” trait often hold positions in which they have the opportunity to exercise their organizational expertise.
You do not think that having “good taste” is such a big deal, or even that there is such a thing as good taste; nor do you claim that you “can’t live without” art, beauty, or good design.
No wonder the democratic party is in so much trouble! I’m all for a good laugh, but that is just sick, sick, sick!!!! Dear God, this man represents my country! The whole world can see that! Can you even imagine any other politician in any other country letting themselves be photographed like that???? For ANY REASON! *shudder*
Rae,
Holy Snikeys! Did they meet you??? How many questions were there? I mean that is so dead on!
I recently took a Meyers-Briggs and turned up an ENFJ. Figures. Maybe I’ll take that quiz later Rae
I’m an ISTJ.
@MK: He doesn’t represent you though. He represents the state of Minnesota.
Oh well, we also had a pro-wrester for guv’nah. I wish I could resurrect Barry AuH2O. :-p
Hey I did that thingee Rae and others here’s what I got:
Warm
You have a genuine interest in other people. You’re a natural host, and are always thinking about how you can increase the happiness of those around you. When friends have problems or are in trouble, you’re usually the first person they turn to for aid and comfort. Scoring high on the “warm” trait suggests that you are among those who enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.
You don’t always say exactly what you’re thinking; you don’t like the idea of causing anyone pain because of your criticism.
Understanding
You are willing to take the time to find out what’s going on with other people, especially if they’re in distress. You’re a good listener, you don’t criticize, and you offer unbiased, respectful, honest advice when it’s requested. With a high score on the “understanding” trait, it is likely that you are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.
You don’t feel the need to impose your standards on others or say things that, even though true, cause pain.
Empathetic
You are in touch with your own feelings, which helps put you in touch with the feelings of others.
You don’t buy the logic that your happiness comes ahead of everyone else’s because unless you’re happy you’re incapable of making anyone else happy.
Aesthetic
You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you’re proud of it. Those with a high score on the “aesthetic” trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.
You don’t think it’s pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You’re not one of those who believe it doesn’t matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.
Sympathetic
You have a knack for knowing what’s going on in the hearts and minds of those around you, without their having to tell you explicitly. People tend to turn to you with their problems because they know you care, and that you will likely offer good advice and a helping hand.
You do not feel that people with sad stories are just looking for attention, or have brought their problems upon themselves.
Friendly
You would rather hang out with others than spend time alone, and you’d far rather be doing something with your friends than just sitting around. You’re happy in a crowded room, club, stadium, or auditorium.
You’re not a private person who is ill at ease in a group; you don’t view excessive socializing as a waste of time.
Assertive
You behave in a confident and forceful manner, take charge of the situation, raise your hand in class, stand up for what you think is right, and lead others. Among those who have a high score on the “assertive” trait, many have jobs in which they are valued for their organizational skills as well as their talent for supervising others.
You are not interested in fading into the woodwork, leaving everything to fate, taking more time than necessary to accomplish a task, or avoiding confrontation.
Accessible
You’re comfortable expressing yourself in words and actions, with no self-censorship. You believe that if someone doesn’t like what they see it’s not your problem, but theirs. A high score on the “accessible” trait suggests that you have a lot of friends, socialize often, and enjoy rap/hip-hop music.
You don’t see the need to keep your thoughts to yourself, or to have a zone of privacy that encompasses only yourself and a small circle of friends and relatives.
Passionate
You are in touch with your emotions, and sometimes you react before you think. The good news: you don’t tamp down your feelings. The bad news: you sometimes say or do things that you later wish you could take back.
You do not live your life on an even keel; you do not go for long periods without experiencing some mood swings.
Poised
You tend to feel at home wherever you find yourself, even in unfamiliar settings, with new people. It takes a lot to rattle you, and when rattled you recover quickly and gracefully.
You are usually not self-conscious or nervous when you’re in an unfamiliar environment or with people you don’t know.
LOL Rae we are almost the EXACT opposite.
@PiP: How the heck are we friends!? :-p
We are both assertive
PIP and Rae,
I took it too, and got BOTH of your answers. First it would say that I like parties and people, then it would say that I like to be alone. Then it would say that I’m introspective and think things through, then it would say that I’m impulsive and act without thinking. And on and on. Every one of them contradicted itself. IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH.
The funny thing is? They’re right!
Passionate
You are in touch with your emotions, and sometimes you react before you think. The good news: you don’t tamp down your feelings. The bad news: you sometimes say or do things that you later wish you could take back.
You do not live your life on an even keel; you do not go for long periods without experiencing some mood swings.
Friendly
You would rather hang out with others than spend time alone, and you’d far rather be doing something with your friends than just sitting around. You’re happy in a crowded room, club, stadium, or auditorium.
You’re not a private person who is ill at ease in a group; you don’t view excessive socializing as a waste of time.
Warm
You have a genuine interest in other people. You’re a natural host, and are always thinking about how you can increase the happiness of those around you. When friends have problems or are in trouble, you’re usually the first person they turn to for aid and comfort. Scoring high on the “warm” trait suggests that you are among those who enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.
You don’t always say exactly what you’re thinking; you don’t like the idea of causing anyone pain because of your criticism.
Understanding
You are willing to take the time to find out what’s going on with other people, especially if they’re in distress. You’re a good listener, you don’t criticize, and you offer unbiased, respectful, honest advice when it’s requested. With a high score on the “understanding” trait, it is likely that you are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.
You don’t feel the need to impose your standards on others or say things that, even though true, cause pain.
Tender
You are gentle with others, both physically and emotionally. You are careful not to upset people and go out of your way to find the nicest way to say something. You naturally focus on the fact that the world is full of wonderful people, places, and things. More often than not, people with a high score on the “tender” trait enjoy spending time with children, love romantic movies, and are enthusiastic about making the world a better place.
You don’t think of yourself as tough-minded or gruff, nor do you need to be seen as some kind of objective source of truth and rationality.
Introspective
You like your own company; you’re a very interesting person. Tracking your own mental processes, knowing what you’re thinking and why you do what you do, is important to you. Often, what’s going on in your mind is more compelling than what’s going on outside. For the most part, those with a high score on the “introspective” trait enjoy reading, taking long walks, learning new things, and other solitary activities.
You are not someone who is constantly looking to be among a group of friends; you never feel bored when you are by yourself.
Aesthetic
You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you’re proud of it. Those with a high score on the “aesthetic” trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.
You don’t think it’s pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You’re not one of those who believe it doesn’t matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.
Sympathetic
You have a knack for knowing what’s going on in the hearts and minds of those around you, without their having to tell you explicitly. People tend to turn to you with their problems because they know you care, and that you will likely offer good advice and a helping hand.
You do not feel that people with sad stories are just looking for attention, or have brought their problems upon themselves.
Curious
You like to get to the bottom of things. You’re not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.
You don’t simply take things as they are and move on; you’re not content skimming along on the surface; you don’t feel you’re wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.
Accessible
You’re comfortable expressing yourself in words and actions, with no self-censorship. You believe that if someone doesn’t like what they see it’s not your problem, but theirs. A high score on the “accessible” trait suggests that you have a lot of friends, socialize often, and enjoy rap/hip-hop music.
You don’t see the need to keep your thoughts to yourself, or to have a zone of privacy that encompasses only yourself and a small circle of friends and relatives.
Are you guys talking about the Signal Patterns thing? I took the quiz a long time ago because I was somewhat connected to the guy who made that site, through the grapevine. Dug up my results:
Aesthetic
You appreciate art, beauty, and design; you know that they are not superficial but absolutely crucial to living the good life. You have good taste, and you’re proud of it. Those with a high score on the “aesthetic” trait are often employed in literary or artistic professions, enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about the arts, reading, and travel.
You don’t think it’s pretentious to be moved by art and beauty. You’re not one of those who believe it doesn’t matter what something looks like as long as it does its job.
Creative
You are good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the “creative” trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.
You do not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.
Intellectual
You are thoughtful, rational, and comfortable in the world of ideas. People find you interesting to talk to. You’re the living embodiment of the saying “You learn something new every day.” In general, those with a high score on the “intellectual” trait are employed in such fields as teaching and research, and are enthusiastic about reading, foreign films, and classical music.
You do not avoid abstract conversation, experimenting with new ideas, or studying new things. It bores you to stick to the straight and narrow of what you already know.
Curious
You like to get to the bottom of things. You’re not content knowing what someone did; you want to know why they did it.
You don’t simply take things as they are and move on; you’re not content skimming along on the surface; you don’t feel you’re wasting time by digging for the meaning of things.
Understanding
You are willing to take the time to find out what’s going on with other people, especially if they’re in distress. You’re a good listener, you don’t criticize, and you offer unbiased, respectful, honest advice when it’s requested. With a high score on the “understanding” trait, it is likely that you are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.
You don’t feel the need to impose your standards on others or say things that, even though true, cause pain.
Introspective
You like your own company; you’re a very interesting person. Tracking your own mental processes, knowing what you’re thinking and why you do what you do, is important to you. Often, what’s going on in your mind is more compelling than what’s going on outside. For the most part, those with a high score on the “introspective” trait enjoy reading, taking long walks, learning new things, and other solitary activities.
You are not someone who is constantly looking to be among a group of friends; you never feel bored when you are by yourself.
Competent
You strive to master everything you undertake. You tend to learn quickly and do not shy away from challenges.
You are not a “que sera sera” type of person, nor do you go easy on yourself when attempting to master a new skill or get a job done.
Warm
You have a genuine interest in other people. You’re a natural host, and are always thinking about how you can increase the happiness of those around you. When friends have problems or are in trouble, you’re usually the first person they turn to for aid and comfort. Scoring high on the “warm” trait suggests that you are among those who enjoy domestic activities — doing things around the house — and are enthusiastic about charitable work, helping others, and making the world a better place.
You don’t always say exactly what you’re thinking; you don’t like the idea of causing anyone pain because of your criticism.
Cooperative
You enjoy teamwork, play well with others, and prefer getting along to winning.
You’re not compelled to win every contest nor to be right all the time.
Empathetic
You are in touch with your own feelings, which helps put you in touch with the feelings of others.
You don’t buy the logic that your happiness comes ahead of everyone else’s because unless you’re happy you’re incapable of making anyone else happy.